Heartbroken: HELP me please?

for months now i've been such a mess over this boy, i just rely would like some advice: we met 2 and a half years ago and he rely liked me but couldnt ask me out because hs mate like me too and they made this pact tht neither could ask me, anyway we still got together but didnt sleep together because i felt too young and didnt love him enough. we kept in contact over the years, he was always asking to meet up with me, but i wasnt all tht interested then we came togther agen as i join hs college. We got together at this ball and it was after i realised i was completely in love wth him, always had been but now older and ready. I asked him if he wanted to meet up but he said he was busy bt maybe later, then i asked what was wrong, he sed nothing and he had no problem with me but he jst didnt wnt a relationship, and he ws sory bt didnt mean to be ignoring me. since then he has ignored me. - or has he, i see him in the corridor and look away because it hurts and im embared bt he never approaches or acknowledges me. Its killed me. i dont understand y he suddenly doesnt want me, since then ive pretty much become a and killed my body with alcoholism. I want to speak to him bt i dont want him to think im some stalker or weirdo because its not like we were great friends or really close since 2 years ago. please help me before i destroy my body and life completely. x